Getting out of the box
A friend and I meet once a month or so for a Dysart’s breakfast. One Saturday Jeanne and I were talking about the fact that we have wrestled with the same business problems for several years. She said, “I feel like we keep stacking and restacking the same boxes, just to see if we can get them to work better. It's not going anywhere.“ I stared at her with my jaw hanging, stunned with realization.
Exactly!! I felt that’ click’ of understanding, the aha! moment. Sometimes, for something new to happen we have to get out of the box(es) and change how we are looking at the problem. Maybe we add a triangle.
In the moment of that shift in how we are approaching things that we experience the phenomenon of reorganization. We comprehend the problem in a different way and new options for change become apparent. With less effort we adjust to meet the change and don't fall back. Life is easier, simply because it results in more of what you want-peace, confidence, meaning and wisdom. Often improved health goes along with this. Reduced relationship conflict. Increased career clarity.
Reorganization is the change before the change. Being open to a shift in view by exploring emotional experiences can happen in many ways. When moments of realization occur there is a slight sense of shock, you see the person stop and lose focus for a moment, or longer. Something is seen in a whole new light, in a way that brings stillness into the room. You know that the other person, your guide, sees your response and realizes something important is happening, and you wait together until the words begin to spill over and you can put together the confusing pieces of the puzzle you have been exploring. Something 'clicks.' You spot the path forward, and you feel within yourself a surge of response that provides you with energy and confidence to move forward. Transformation becomes easier and deeper, with ripples that continue to spread and reshape your life.
What helps to start the change within a change? How can we work together to find ways to view your problem from new angles? An environment that is safe, responsive, alive, encouraging, and empathic. People who are stressed need steady help to unlock their ability to defuse old patterns and see new possibilities. At times we have developed patterns of relating that actually prevent us from acting in our own best interests. This is what happens when you 'trip yourself up.'
When 'tripping up' keeps happening, it might be a sign that something new is needed. This is reorganization; the beginning of the change within the change.
Change is something we both want and fear. Doing things differently is scary for so many reasons. To be successful, therapeutic support for change that progresses involves providing assistance for seeing positive change, and defusing self-attacks that keep old patterns in place. Beyond that, therapy provides a warm, curious and respectful environment, poised to 'come on board' to guide you through strange waters and help you perfect your navigation skills.